Haecceity

Haecceity. I love that word - the essence of the uniqueness of something. But I'm not sure it ever really exists. I'm not sure that essence is ever unique, or that uniqueness is ever essential. As applied to people:

Everyone has at least two 'layers' - levels of being, of haecceity: How they appear to others, and how they appear to themselves. Almost everyone has a third level in between these - how they want to appear to others. I do not have the audacity to suggest a level of 'how they really are', but there is certainly a more important fourth level on the bottom - how they appear to God. You cannot have a true relationship unless you can get past the outer layers. But usually this hurts. The outer layers are there for a reason.