Sunday, October 30, 2011

Advice

Well, thanks Mint, for making me feel like a pig! I'm not running a food kitchen here. Me and what army....

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

XP SP2

If anyone still uses XP and is getting those annoying 'Open File - Security Warning' dialogs all the time, add an environment variable of SEE_MASK_NOZONECHECKS = 1.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Hope

“The gods keep hidden from men the choicest parts of life. Because Prometheus the crafty had deceived him, Olympian Zeus in the anger of his heart hid fire, planning sorrow and mischief against men; but the noble son of Iapetus stole again for men from Zeus the counselor, concealing fire in a hollow fennel-stalk, so that Zeus who delights in thunder did not see it. But afterwards Zeus who gathers the clouds said to him in anger: “Son of Iapetus, surpassing all in cunning, you are glad that you have outwitted me and stolen fire – a great plague shall be upon you for it. But I will give to men as the price for fire an evil thing, in which they all may be glad of heart while they yet embrace their own destruction.” So said the father of men and gods, and laughed aloud. And he bade famous Hephaestus make haste and mix earth and water and to put in it the voice and strength of human kind, and fashion a sweet, lovely maiden-shape, like to the immortal goddesses – the first woman. And he called this woman Pandora, All-Giving, because all those who dwelt on Olympus each gave her a ‘gift’ for men: a plague on all who eat bread. Zeus the son of Cronos sent Hermes, the swift messenger of the gods, to take the hopeless snare to Epimetheus son of Iapetus. And Epimetheus did not think on how Prometheus had forewarned him, bidding him never take a gift of Olympian Zeus, but to send it back for fear it might prove to be something harmful to men. But he took the gift, and only afterward, when the evil thing was already his, did he understand. For ere this the tribes of men lived freely on earth, remote and free from ills and hard toil and heavy sicknesses which bring the Fates upon men; for in misery men grow old quickly. But the woman Pandora shortly took off the great lid of the jar and scattered all her gifts across the face of the earth, and she and all that she brought caused sorrow and mischief to men. Only Hope remained there in an unbreakable home within under the rim of the great jar, and did not fly out at the door; for ere that, the lid of the jar stopped it, by the will of Aegis-holding Zeus who gathers the clouds. But the rest, countless plagues, wander amongst men; for earth is full of evils, and the sea is full. Of themselves diseases come upon men continually by day and by night, bringing mischief to mortals silently. So is there no way to escape the will of Zeus.”

—From Hesiod, Works and Days, 7th century B.C.

This is the story of origins, the origins of three key facets of man’s existence: those of woman, toil, and hope. Let me begin with woman, and pass through toil to hope, and hope shall bring us in the end back to toil and woman. According to Hesiod’s mythology, man was created in an Edenic state, without toil, and without woman. But due to an attempt to seize more blessings than were due him, he was punished by the greatest god of the pantheon, Zeus. This is a god who can be tricked and defeated in minor matters, and only minor matters, for he always gives worse than he takes. And in this case his retribution comes in a form which man willingly receives and embraces to his own hurt – woman. I will leave it to others to debate whether Hesiod spoke from (bad) experience, or from true wisdom. For it may be that for a man without a care in the world, love of a woman verily brings with it anguish and suffering both in and through its highest pleasures, without a countervailing material gain. In the end, who can say that relationships and their inherent grace and strife are valuable in the same way that honest work is valuable? But the answer, if it could be made, would be irrelevant, for woman was made, and man desires her.

This first woman, Pandora, brought with her all the curses which drove men from the Golden Age, from the Edenic state. When we consider that Hesiod, in this poem, was primarily concerned with work and the appropriate times for labor, these curses can be understood to consist of all unnecessary drudgery, all occasionless pains, all senseless decay; in short, all unpreventable increases in entropy. Man does not resent valuable tasks, but toil, pain, and death. These curses, summing up all that is wrong with the world, can be equated with the Biblical Jehovah’s curse on the first man, Adam: “Cursed is the ground because of you; in toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.” And as with Adam, it can be fairly said that woman, in coming to man, released these curses, more or less intentionally, if not with full knowledge of the consequences.

But Hesiod does not stop there. He immediately goes on to mention one ‘gift’ of the gods, hope, which did not escape from the jar into the world. But what does it mean for hope to be constrained to the jar? Is hope to be included with the other curses, or is it a mollifying blessing, contributed by some benevolent god? What is even meant by ‘hope’? Is this attribute with respect to only the curse of toil, or does it refer to any and all of man’s hopes? Is hope, by being kept back in the jar, prevented from besetting man along with the other curses, or preserved and ennobled within men’s hearts, or is it thence for womenfolk only? Does it make a difference whether hope is constrained (as to one’s intellect, to uplift but not to distract) or whether it buffets and befuddles man from outside, along with the rest of the vagaries of life?

To approach this question, we must first have considered the point of the entire work. The moral of Hesiod’s tale is that strife is bad, but striving is good; or, if you prefer, that honest labor will survive and defeat injustice. That is why he does not curse the gods and die – a way has been left open to overcome, or at least subjugate, toil. By wisdom and by foresight, by effort and by perseverance, by work and by days, one may have a good life, and thus a good death. Zeus is just, not spiteful. Man must be punished for his effrontery, in order that he shall not aspire too high, but he need not be abased beyond reason. Thus the retribution matches the crime, and the convenience of fire is matched with the inconvenience of work. And the answer to the question is ‘it depends’ – depends on how one responds, how one chooses to work.

The ancient Greek word for hope, ἐλπίς, can mean expectation of good, or occasionally expectation of bad. In the same way, hope can be good or bad, beneficial or harmful, depending on its object and effect. Later in his poem, Hesiod writes that “the idle man who waits on empty hope, lacking a livelihood, lays to heart mischief-making; it is not a wholesome hope that accompanies a needy man when it makes him loll at ease while he has no sure livelihood.” Conversely, a (valid) expectation of evil, causing a man to cease trying and despair, is also unwholesome. Any hope that is not subject to reason, leading to laziness, is a curse, while a hope which strengthens and encourages becomes a blessing.

But of what value is striving if all work is toil and all hope is hopeless? Nietzsche, philosophizing on this passage, said that hope, in combination with the curse of futility, increases and prolongs its torment. And so it does, if the cursing is permanent, and no end of striving may be seen. But I have been taught, by hope, to believe in more than futility. Hesiod concludes his poem by saying that “man is happy and lucky who knows all these things and does his work without offending the deathless gods; who discerns the omens and avoids transgression.” Even those who hope in this life only find the good to outweigh the bad. Three hundred years earlier King Solomon had written “It is good and fitting to eat, to drink, and to enjoy oneself in all one’s labor in which one toils under the sun.” Not even Nietzsche committed suicide.

Whether hope was intended as a blessing or curse by almighty Zeus, by capturing and keeping it in her jar, Pandora was able to counteract the other curses and enable man to rise above them. Hope inspires man and gives him spirit to strive against futility, thus turning a potential curse into a ennobling attribute. And I am sure the gods approved. But I am not satisfied with this answer. Hope may encourage, strengthen, and even give meaning in life. But if that is all it does, it is still a vanity of vanities. “If a man should live many years or few, let him rejoice in them all, nonetheless remembering the days of darkness, which will be many. For everything that is to come is futility” (Solomon again). And here we must leave Hesiod behind, as Dante abandoned Virgil, having passed from reason to faith in our approach towards the beatific vision.

For true hope is founded not on expectations, but on trust. “It is not defeated by the ways of the world, for it does not come from experience, but from our nature and first being.” And this hope requires something and someone to hope on – someone in our past, and in our future. The first woman brought more than hope to man: she was hope, for without woman, there can be no seed. “He shall bruise you on the head, but you shall bruise him on the heel.” Through woman, man was cursed, but through her seed, man had hope. Hope for redemption from the curses of toil, disease, and death; from futility. And that redemption infinitely transcends any earthly anguish, transforming the fall from the Edenic state into a resurrection to eternal blessedness. And woman, the All-Giving one, rather than being the source of curses which she might have been, becomes the source of the greatest gift of all. And that is where we must conclude our saga – with hope.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Weekdays

It is indicative of the current state of engineering design, that when I stopped by the supply room last week to ask for some mechanical pencils, I discovered that they were out of them, and did not even know when they would have them back in stock. And, I've been able to make do without. Thankfully they did have plenty of highlighters.

Later I was comparing two floorplans on my computer, and noticed that one line changed color, representing a change in properties. And as I flipped back and forth I noticed that it changed location as well. But that was wrong - it should not have moved. Then, when I checked the coordinates of the two lines, I found that they were identical! it was driving me crazy until I realized that the colors were on opposite sides of the spectrum, and that the line was shifting half a pixel width! Honestly people, when are computer monitors going to come in decent resolutions? I mean, anti-aliasing is a necessary travesty.

Weekends

Two weeks ago I went to Sean and Maura's wedding back at college; I don't have any pictures to post, but it was very beautiful and an excellent time, although too short. Last weekend my brother came to visit, and we went exploring, and had some great adventures (below). This weekend I'm not planning anything big, and that's good too. Next weekend? We'll see.









Wednesday, July 27, 2011

What is Poetry?

Poetry is writing with blank space on the right.

Poetry is writing with a relatively high density of adjectives.

Poetry is writing in which distinctive styles and rhythms give special intensity to feelings and ideas.

Poetry is writing that means more than it says.

Poetry is the contagion of feelings through the medium of words.

Poetry is an evocative literary art.

Poetry is the music of words.

Poetry is a divine fusion of words into a mysterious indefinite fullness of meaning, the out-throbbing of immortal hearts.

City Life

As I've thought about what makes New York City New York City, in contrast with anywhere else I could be, I've decided that it fits me better than I initially realized. For in this city it is easy to be different, without standing out from the crowd. With so many and so varied people constantly surrounding me, it is easy to be lost in the general mêlée. Which fits me well, because my personality is to want to be unique, without drawing attention to myself—to be the best at being me, without anyone else noticing, unless they are already of like mind with myself. And living in Manhattan is a lot like living inside my mind: having all the world laid before your doorstep, yet being simultaneously tied to the boundaries of a narrow island; having a mind that walks unabashed the myriad pathways of the soul, yet having a heart that cowers from the thought of leaving the security of its own front door. New Yorkers and I, we imagine ourselves to be completely free, with infinite possibilities before us, yet in reality are self-constrained to walk only the old familiar paths. I think a walk in the old forest would help both of us clear our heads.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Adoption

God offers man the unimaginable rights of being called His child, but to enter into these blessings we must give up our claim on our rights as children of the earth, petty and fleeting as such rights are. Yet how hard it is to step out in faith!

Monday, June 27, 2011

The Metropolitan Museum of Art

More metropolitan than artistic.

I spent most of my time in the Egyptian section. I'll have to visit several more times to see the greater part of what is on display.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Lunch with the Team

Just like the good old days.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Work and Play

Work has been interesting. So far I've been working with software I've never used to solve problems I've never encountered (designing piles to support a mat foundation), but I've been amazed how quickly I've caught on. It helps that we're doing schematic design, which is the first part of the design process, and means that everything we do now will be reworked in more detail later.

Today I visited the New York Public Library, best known for its lions:

Now, for a limited time, also available in Lego®


The Gutenberg Bible, on display.
Audubon's Birds of America

You may notice a lack of bookshelves in these photos. This was representative of the library as a whole. Finding this situation somewhat funny, I inquired of the receptionist as to the location of said books. She very patiently explained that this was a reference library and that computers were available on the third floor. Ah me. I'll have to look somewhere less notable.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Day 1, finis!

It was probably a typical first day at work. Paperwork and introductions all morning; overviews of projects and building codes all afternoon. But it seems they will expect a lot from me - they have a project on hand, and want me jump right in. I'll be working on a 32-story office building/shopping mall combination in Baku, Azerbaijan, a high seismic and wind region - and an area where they use the metric system!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Update

I just received my diploma for a M.Eng. in Structural Engineering in the mail, and am preparing to move to NYC for a job at a prestigious engineering firm, starting Monday! I don't know what else to say. This is a transition which is 'common to man', but it is a 'new thing' for me.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Sanctification

2 Peter 1 describes the working out of salvation, or the steps of sanctification in one's life.

By diligence, faith -> moral excellence -> knowledge -> self-control -> perseverance -> godliness -> brotherly kindness -> love.

It seems to me I'm stuck on perseverance. I guess that makes sense, but I'm not content. I have a long way to go.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Why Sarregouset?

The Sarregousets or Arragousets were a part of Guernsey folklore mentioned in Victor Hugo's The Toilers of the Sea. The word is probably a corruption of Les Aragousais, 'the men of Aragon', who invaded Guernsey in the fourteenth century, according to The Fabled Coast, by Sophia Kingshill. They were a mysterious, elfin folk who were held responsible for many weird and suspicious events by the reclusive and superstitious populace, and were given strange powers and called by strange names. It is apparent in the novel that they existed only in the imagination of the natives. But as such they are a type or picture of the theme of this work, and most others by Victor Hugo: The misunderstood and anathematized, the untouchables and unreachables, the pathetic and empathetic, the helpless and hopeless, the neglected and broken. I can't say I want to be like the Sarregousets.

Actually, I just happened to be reading this book when I was in need of a unique username.

At night, when it thunders, if you should happen to see men flying in the lurid light of the clouds, or on the rolling waves of the air, these are no other than the Sarregousets.

You can read a contemporary version of the fable here: http://abookofcreatures.com/2015/04/01/arragouset/, and an encyclopedia entry here: https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arragouset.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Vacation

I forgot my camera, so these are just the highlights. 


Something I'm beginning to learn.

When life presents you with a choice in paths, usually the only wrong decision is to not make a decision.

Living

Everything in life is what you make of it, except for a few things, such as faith, hope, and love, which are what they make of you.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Boxes

Life is all about boxes. Everyone has them; everyone needs them. The thing is, if you don't actively make the boxes fit yourself, you will end up fitting into the boxes.

Also, I've been wondering lately if a 'thick skin' is just a nice way of saying a dragon's skin. And if a bubble is the same as a brick wall, when it doesn't pop when it ought.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Theology

As I consider the history of the church, I am always especially interested in the errors our forefathers fell into. Even Calvin, Luther, and Augustine - I owe my worldview to them, yet I freely disagree with them, on points great or small. I expect that no one is in perfect accord with any of their founders, and I feel that that's okay. I'm not bothered by the mistakes of our predecessors—I want to know will be our mistakes, according to our successors, and according to God. What will have been the heresy of my era? And more importantly, how am I part of the problem, and how can I be part of the solution?

On reflection, I think on of the great errors of my day is the division of the church into so many 'denominations'. People who call on the same God cannot worship together because of their traditions - churches with identical creeds split on the smallest issues. No time or place in history has experienced such splits as the church in America today. And all this in the face of a clear command from God: 'Let there be no divisions among you! Has Christ been divided?' Yet you and I try to justify ourselves, saying this and that, claiming expediency in the growth of the church. Maybe this is true. Yet I would believe otherwise.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Haecceity

Haecceity. I love that word - the essence of the uniqueness of something. But I'm not sure it ever really exists. I'm not sure that essence is ever unique, or that uniqueness is ever essential. As applied to people:

Everyone has at least two 'layers' - levels of being, of haecceity: How they appear to others, and how they appear to themselves. Almost everyone has a third level in between these - how they want to appear to others. I do not have the audacity to suggest a level of 'how they really are', but there is certainly a more important fourth level on the bottom - how they appear to God. You cannot have a true relationship unless you can get past the outer layers. But usually this hurts. The outer layers are there for a reason.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Investing

The one rule in investing that everyone agrees on seems to be to keep your portfolio in balance. This means that based on your appetite for risk, you proportion your investments among different assets. As a simple example, say you want 50% stocks and 50% bonds. Suppose your stocks do well for a year or two, while your bonds languish. At the end of two years, you have 60% stocks and 40% bonds. At this point, you are supposed re-balance your investments by transferring 10% from stocks to bonds.

This means, if you didn't notice, that when one investment is doing well, you should not throw more money at it, but take money away from it. If you are making money in stocks, you should take some of that and put it in bonds, which are loosing money. In general, this suggests that if an investment is doing well, this is a strong indication that it will soon stop doing well, and vice versa. In other words, a fundamental rule of investing is that the best indication of a good investment is that it is doing poorly, and vice versa. I'm heading off right now to invest in Ames and Somalia.

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Edit: I thought I was kidding when I posted this, but I did a little research, and guess what popped up? This quote, for one thing:

"If the past is a guide, you might expect some of the worst performing stocks in the first decade of the 2000s to be among the best between 2010 and 2019." (USA Today)

Looks like I'll be hitting up American Airlines and Kodak Cameras.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

01000101011101001

It seems to me that the digital world is over hyped. I would go so far as to say that history will look back on digital processing as the foible of the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. Nothing is binary - exclusively on or off - except in our imagination. I have been told that electrons, the building blocks of life, are neither here nor there until you look at them. Even in computers there is a transition stage for each switch where the current drops off or picks up, which must be accounted for. When we are finally able to progress to organic or natural processing, digital will be seen as horribly inefficient. Think of all the information that is lost when converting a continuous-time, indefinitely precise information stream into a finite sequence of zeros and ones. Preposterous.

P.S. Since I wrote this I came across this article. Who knows all that the future will bring?

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Why Me?

Because He loved your fathers, therefore He chose their descendants after them.

Deuteronomy 4:37

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.

 —1 Corinthians 1:27

It is easy to fall into the error of trying to find selfish reasons for why God choose you. But that goes against the whole point of choosing. It can't be anything you've done or will do. Thus when you look at Christians around the world, you'll find a few common characteristics, and a lot of variety. I'll leave the specifics to you. Because most of the attributes you'll find, such as sanctification, are a consequence, not cause, of God's choosing. I think the two verses above perfectly sum up the traits which remain. God chooses the lowly, not for anything in themselves, but for the sake of their forefathers and for His own name's sake.

One thing we can learn from this is how important relationships (see yesterday's post) are for us and for God.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Life is like a Game of Chess

An edifact from back when I was fascinated by the game of chess (probably 12th grade):

Life is like a game of chess:
You can’t see more than a couple steps ahead,
You can’t foresee all contingencies/possibilities,
You don’t know what others are planning on doing, and
You make mistakes and you can’t take them back.

God sees everything – past present, and future,
He knows all the possibilities,
He even knows what you are going to do, and
He never makes mistakes.
God is the better chess player – don't you want Him on your side?

Marionettes

Often I feel that life is perpetual dance to which my feet are enslaved but from which my mind is completely detached. I am compelled forward on a course as immutable as unknowable. It happens on a time that my path crosses that of another, and we each linger, momentarily diverted. But my mind can never conceive nor compass their ways, nor teach them to my feet, and neither can it communicate my ways to them, not knowing them itself. And so we pass on, each along our own course, whatever that may be. Must this always be so?